She chose to wear mangalsutra even after her husband’s death

My life is not extraordinary but in my own way I’ve managed to trigger change that has helped many women in my village and beyond. 

I was born in Herwad, a small village in Maharashtra, very close to the Karnataka border. 

My father Ramchandra Mane was a farmer. I used to help my mother take care of our three buffaloes and in the farm where we grew sorghum, mustard and peanuts. 

My parents, especially my father, loved me dearly. 

I was studying in the first standard when, one day, my teacher beat me for no reason and I never returned to school. My brother and sister completed their studies. Now I feel I should have studied more.

I was 18 when I got married to Vishnu Gaikwad.

He was a cloth mill worker in Kurundwad, a nearby town. I saw him only on the day of the wedding.

The wedding ceremony took place at my parents’ house. 

Traditional food including bhaat, baigan ki sabji, amti and sheera were prepared for the guests.

I remember wearing a green saree, the traditional outfit for a Maharashtrian wedding. He wore a white safari suit. 

Sadly my wedding photos were destroyed when a flood ravaged our village a few years ago.

We were blessed with two sons. 

Life went on and then we got our eldest son married.

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I lost my husband in May 2022, just a week after Herwad gram panchayat unanimously passed a historic resolution to ban age-old widow customs such as wiping off the sindoor and tikli, taking off the mangalsutra and toe-rings. 

I was not even aware of it at the time. 

When my husband died, I was a little hesitant at first and thought of wiping off the tikli and taking off the mangalsutra, like any other widow, even though I didn’t want to. 

This was mainly because of the social pressure and conditioning. 

But my family and a few community members encouraged me and gave me the strength to shun these practices.

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Come to think of it, my family is not conservative in following social norms.

My mother, Girijabai, a septuagenarian now, lives with me. It is not at all common for older women to live with their married daughters.

My husband wanted our daughter-in-law Sarojini to study more as she had to drop out when she became pregnant. She not only completed her education but started working soon after.

A lot of people tell me that even educated people couldn’t initiate change like I did despite being uneducated. 

I think my husband would have wanted me to do so. I feel happy and content.

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