This Odisha trans woman is breaking barriers with ‘pride’

Chhavi, who hails from Banmali Prasad village in Dhenkanal district of Odisha, faced jibes and ridicule from strangers and family alike when she expressed her identity. She then went on to form a self help group, Maa Budhi Dei, that now works with the local municipality to manage waste disposal. She tells her story – in her own words. 

I was born free but little did I know that I would be confined by societal barriers for the rest of my life. I was born into a poor family at Banmali Prasad village in Dhenkanal. When I was 11, I began noticing unusual changes in my behaviour and interests. I admired screen heroines and tried to emulate their dialogue delivery and mannerisms. However, when I started wearing sarees and playing with girls, it deeply offended my father. He warned me that he would kick me out if I ever repeated such behaviour. 

During a phase when I lacked the maturity to understand the implications, my mother became a beacon of hope. She encouraged me to celebrate Raja, a cultural festival in Odisha that honours womanhood and menstruation, with girls my age.  When I started performing Danda, a form of drama involving costumes and makeup, people ridiculed me and saw me as a disgrace to my family. Before I could fully comprehend these experiences, my mother passed away after suffering a heart attack, and two years later, my father also passed away. At that time, my stepmother continuously tried to get rid of me.

After completing 8th grade, I left Government High School in Mangalpur due to financial constraints and began supporting myself by working as a labourer at various sites. It deeply affects me when people around me use demanding phrases like “ae maayichiya” (a derogatory word used for transgender individuals), “aarey chhakka aasi gala” (oh, a transgender has come), “ye chhakka kaam kale aame aithei rahibuni” (if this transgender will work, we won’t stay here). 

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People don’t understand the impact of such connotations on one’s mental health. I remember crying every night, as these instances became a routine part of my life. How does it feel when someone tries to blame you for being who you are? How does it feel when someone considers you unnatural and a blot on society? The amount of trauma a person endures when constantly questioned and judged for their choices is immense. What does it take to overcome the hurdles that society has imposed on people like me and countless others?

One day, I decided to escape from the harassment I faced and fled to Dhenkanal Railway Station. Little did I realise that my destination would be Dhenkanal itself, where a maa (elderly woman, name not revealed to protect identity) approached me at the station, seeing me in tears. She patiently listened to my story and offered me a life-changing suggestion. She said, “No matter what happens, never run away from your fears. Face them head-on and don’t hide, or else you’ll find yourself heading in the wrong direction.” She emphasised the importance of forming a self help group (SHG), which I later established under the name Maa Budhi Dei Self Help Group, currently consisting of five active transgender workers.

Subsequently, the district municipality approached us with a job opportunity that promised a decent income, freeing us from the need to beg for a penny. We were offered positions at the Mahisapat Wealth Centre, a waste treatment plant, where I currently serve as the in-charge of my plant, overseeing the waste management processes and transforming waste into wealth.

Our dedication and coordination at the workplace has earned us recognition from NITI Aayog and the government of Odisha. They have praised our effective waste management at the MCC MRF Centre. Additionally, I was honoured with an award from the Helping Hands Socio-Specific Organization and the Model District Disability Rehabilitation Centre in Dhenkanal, which was presented by the district collector, Saroj Kumar Sethi.

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Now, my stepmother treats me well, and people have started acknowledging our efforts. They greet us and even take pictures with us, which brings back memories of being a heroine in a film. There were times when I could have given up on my dreams and my life, considering the challenges that seemed insurmountable. However, as the saying goes, “Tough times never last, but tough people do.” I am grateful for where I am today, alongside the friends I made at Maa Budhi Dei. I aspire to be a beacon of hope and inspiration for every kinnar (an umbrella term for LGBTQIA+ community) who wishes to pursue their dreams.

I have experienced some of the darkest days in my life, but I would still like to ask you, may I add a touch of sunshine to brighten your gloomy days? Haha!

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